Generational Soda Differences: It's the real thing

Husband, wife and son are all working in the kitchen. Wife is cooking, husband is washing dishes, son is taking out the trash. Wife takes a sip of her Coke and things get a little musical... 

Wife: (singing) I'd like to buy the world a house and furnish it with love...

Husband: (singing) sembrarme flores de colores, este Navidad...

Wife and Husband look over to Son, expectantly. Son does not start singing. He's never heard that jingle, in English or Spanish.  He was born 29 years after that Coke commercial. 

Son: You guys are strange. 

Son leaves to take trash outside. Husband and Wife continue to sing in Spanglish. 

Mystic Soccer

Son and Husband are playing a soccer video game. Husband is winning but suddenly Son starts to score goals. 

Husband: Well done!

Son: It's karma. 

Husband: What is carnage?

Son: Karma is like revenge, but with ghosts. 

Husband: That's some good carnage. 

Wife: Not carnage, karma. 

Husband: (pauses) I'm still winning. 

Holy Mama

Husband and Wife attend a church service where the pastor discusses the song Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen.  All week long they both have the song in their heads. 

It's late at night and Husband and Wife are in adjacent rooms doing separate tasks but singing the song together while they work. 

Husband and Wife: I heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord. But you don't really care for music, do ya?

Wife: Hallelujah

Husband (harmonizing): Y la tuya.*

*"Y la tuya" is short for "tu abuelita" which is a slang equivalent equivalent to "Your Mama"

Athletic Reflexes

Husband and Wife are on the couch. Wife is watching a basketball game on TV while Husband plays a soccer game on his iPad. 

Wife: Swish! Nice. 3 points.

The noise of the basketball game fills the room. 

Husband: Why do they say "reflex" in basketball?

Husband keeps his eyes on his iPad game. 

Wife: When?

Husband: Every few minutes. The crowd starts shouting "reflex" over and over. Are they impressed with the athletic reflexes of their team?

Wife: I've never noticed anyone saying "reflex" in basketball.

Pause. Husband grunts over a missed goal in his soccer game. 

Husband: There! They're saying it.

Wife: They're saying "defense" because the other team has the ball.

Husband: Reflex is better. They should make alterations.

Husband never looks up from his game and makes celebratory noises when he scores a goal.

Potted Evidence

Husband is talking to himself as he works on the computer, finishing a large project. Wife is reading in the next room. 

Husband: Aha! All done. But will it work? Let's see...

Silence. A few clicks on the key board. 

Husband: Looks good. But the proof is in the potting. 

Silence. More clicks.  

Husband: But what... is the pot... made of? These are the questions. 

Jolly Shellfish

Husband and Wife are enjoying some relaxation time after a long workday. Husband sits on the couch and sighs with contentment. 

Husband: I am happy as a clown. Is it clown or clam?

Wife: Clam.

Husband: But clams have no expression. And if they did, they would never be happy. Think of their faces. Clowns' faces are always happy - its their occupational hazard.

Husband makes a gesture of painting on a clown make-up smile. 

Popular Eats

Husband and Wife are at a party with a large crowd of unfamiliar people. 

Wife: I think those two are the popular couple in this group.

Husband: Baby, we are the eat couple.

Wife: The eat couple?

Husband: Yup. The eat couple.

Husband blows on fingers and rubs them on shoulder.

Wife: Ah, yes. The it couple. Yup. That's us.

Love is the Key

Husband and Wife are unloading groceries from the car. They approach the back door to the house. 

Wife: Baby, can I have the keys?

Husband leans over and kisses wife. 


Husband: There's your kees.

Washing Dishes at the Copacabana

It's Husband's turn to wash dishes for the first time in a month. Husband is at the sink in the kitchen while wife folds laundry in the living room. 

Husband: Boo

Wife: What is it?

Husband: Boo-hoo.

Wife: What?

Husband: The results are in. Rotten Tomatoes gives Washing Dishes only 20%. Very few critics like it and fans say definitely "don't go".

Wife: Oh really?

Husband: Yup. It's a flop. The blogs are saying it's a real stinker.

Silence. 

Moments later, Husband sings a new song to the tune of "Copacabana".

Husband: His name was husband, he's washing dishes. And no one enjoys washing dishes.

Logic and lyrics

Husband: (singing) Mr. Mailman, bring me a dream! Make her complexion like cookies and cream.

Wife: It's not the mailman who brings the dream, it's the sand man. He flies in your room at night and puts sand in your eyes so you dream.

Husband looks incredulous. 

Husband: (singing) Mr. Mailman, bring me a dream! Make her complexion like cookies and cream.

Wife: Her complexion is like peaches in cream. Like my cheeks, see? If it was like cookies and cream, it would be all covered in spots.


Husband sighs and then starts to whistle, exasperated. 

Jesus and Gerbils

Husband: My friend really likes to say the word Yerbils.

Wife: You mean gerbils? Like the little animals?

Husband: It's not with a "y"?

Wife: Nope. It's with a "g", gerbil.

Husband: G. Like in Jesus?

Isn't It Obvious?

Husband: Do you want to watch a movie?

Wife: Nah, we should really do laundry.

Husband begins to sing and dance.

Husband (singing): We have called you to join us today because you are a party pooper. Party pooper, party pooper!

Wife: Huh. Is that how the song goes?

Husband: Yes! Isn't it clarievident? Party pooper!

Winkle Winkle

Husband and Wife are watching a movie on the couch at home. One lone cookie sits on a plate in front of them.

Wife: I'm going to the kitchen for some water. Do you need anything?

Husband: No, thanks. But I can't guarantee that this cookie will be here when you get back. Hint hint winkle winkle.

Dog Brands

Wife: Did you hear that the neighbors got a new dog?

Husband: Yeah, it's the same brand of dog as Max.

Wife looks curiously at Husband.

Husband: Or make and model of dog. You know what I mean.

Burger Joint in Suburbia

Husband: Where do you want to eat, baby? 10 Burgers and A Fry? Or Smash Pumpkin?

Wife: Well, 5 Guys Burgers and Fries has great seasoned fries, but Smash burger has better burgers.

The Ambiguously Gay Duo

Husband: Are those guys a couple?

Wife: I think they're just roommates.

Husband: Like Ert and Bernie? From Sesame Plaza?

Wife: Yes. Just like that.

Grey's Anatomy can get violent

Husband: Hey baby, are you watching your stories?

Wife: Yeah, after such a rigorous couple of months at work and school, it feels great to just turn my brain off and watch cheesy television. But after this one is over, I'm going to have to cut myself off.

Husband: It's that bad, huh?

Wife: No, I like it so much, I'm going to have to cut myself off or I'll be here all night.

Husband: But if you like it, why would you have to cut yourself off?

Husband then forms his hand into a knife shape and pretends to "cut" his arms, legs, torso, etc.

Wife: Off, love, not up. Cut myself off not cut myself up.

Husband: Same thing.

Fudge brownies

Husband and Wife are finishing a date night dinner the day after Thanksgiving.

Husband: Should we get dessert here or eat dessert at home?

Wife: Well, we have the rest of my dad's famous holiday fudge at home.

Husband: Which one was the fudge?

Wife: The chocolate dessert from yesterday.

Husband: Those weren't brownies? I thought they were teeny tiny brownies.

Wife: No, that was fudge.

Husband: Oh. I just thought they were the most delicious brownies in the world. Are you sure they're not brownies?

Wife: It was fudge.

New Corona Beer Slogan

Husband: Find your bitch.

Actual slogan is "Find your beach."

Sponge Dog

The dog is watching a squirel in the back yard from a window on the second floor.

Wife: Hey babe, look at Max. He's tracking something.

Husband: Wow. He's so absorbant.