Cheater, cheater!

Husband and Wife are playing a game of cards. Wife surreptitiously looks at Husband's hand. Husband catches her.

Husband: Cheater, cheater bugger eater!

Wife: Do you mean "booger"? Like in your nose?

Husband: That's what I said. Bugger.

Wife: It's called a booger when it's in your nose. Bugger is a british curse word, like "Bugger! I just lost this game to my wife!".

They continue playing in silence for a while. Then Wife continues.

Wife: And besides, it's not a booger eater, it's a pumpkin eater. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. Like the poem "Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater, had a wife and couldn't keep her..." Because Cheater rhymes with Peter, I guess.

Husband stares at wife.

Then he lays down his hand of cards.

Husband: I win! See? I win even if you are a bugger eater.

Husband leans across the table, kisses Wife and goes into the kitchen, leaving Wife to stare at her cards incredulously.

Soda Pop and the Undead

Husband: What do you think about Atlanta? Could you ever see yourself living there?

Wife: I've never been. But I know they have major universities and big companies. Coca-Cola is based there. And the CDC is there.

Husband: The Center for Disease Control?

Wife: Actually, it's called the Center for Disease Control and Prevention now, but they kept the old acronym.

Husband: (hesitantly) Hmmm... maybe we shouldn't move there then.

Wife: Wait, why?

Husband: Haven't you seen the movies? The CDCP is going to turn us all into zombies one day.