Burger Joint in Suburbia

Husband: Where do you want to eat, baby? 10 Burgers and A Fry? Or Smash Pumpkin?

Wife: Well, 5 Guys Burgers and Fries has great seasoned fries, but Smash burger has better burgers.

The Ambiguously Gay Duo

Husband: Are those guys a couple?

Wife: I think they're just roommates.

Husband: Like Ert and Bernie? From Sesame Plaza?

Wife: Yes. Just like that.

Grey's Anatomy can get violent

Husband: Hey baby, are you watching your stories?

Wife: Yeah, after such a rigorous couple of months at work and school, it feels great to just turn my brain off and watch cheesy television. But after this one is over, I'm going to have to cut myself off.

Husband: It's that bad, huh?

Wife: No, I like it so much, I'm going to have to cut myself off or I'll be here all night.

Husband: But if you like it, why would you have to cut yourself off?

Husband then forms his hand into a knife shape and pretends to "cut" his arms, legs, torso, etc.

Wife: Off, love, not up. Cut myself off not cut myself up.

Husband: Same thing.